In the future we'll all be gay
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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