I just found puke in my bra..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
