I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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