so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize