Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
two words...techno handjob
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
