You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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