OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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