Soap is not a condiment
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
