I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
