it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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