textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
