her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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