Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
