I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
