So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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