...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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