): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
