how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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