woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
