I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i barfeds in our rink
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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