his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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