If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We need a shit load of segways right now
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