u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
