pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
