therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
