I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
