There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
