i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize