Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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