those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How does one acquire holy water?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
