The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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