In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
