i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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