Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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