We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
