Where is the hickey?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
