HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
