trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize