i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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