i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
