I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
