I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
nutella sex= disaster
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
