she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
