Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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