I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
