How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
