Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
