so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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