EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
