Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
