Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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