it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
