with your own penis?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
