can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
