I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
