Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
