"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
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i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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