Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
