So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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