What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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