Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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