Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
